I mentioned in a post about PDX Gay Pride, 2009 that I dyed my hair in rainbow streaks (there’s pictures there too). I’ve been wanting to do this for awhile – something different and kind of wild – plus I’m all about the rainbows and the gay pride tribute. I had wanted all my hair to be rainbow, but that would of been horribly expensive and time consuming. So, streaks of nine different colors were mixed in with my natural hair color. It’s absolutely beautiful but is a bit more subtle then what I wanted. I’ll be honest, when I do odd things to my hair, I want people to notice. I thought rainbow streaks would get a lot of reaction but I’ve gotten nada. So, I’m trying to come up with a game plan for next time I dye my hair. I have two different thoughts:
1 – Every couple months, I’ll dye my hair one solid color of the rainbow – red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple – until I’ve done the whole rainbow. I could photograph each color and make a rainbow collage.
2 – Every couple months, I’ll dye my hair one solid color of the rainbow – red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple – until I’ve done the whole rainbow. However, instead of just dying one color over the last one completely, I’d have them dye all but a part of the last color. In the end, I’d have a rainbow striped head.
I’ve also been thinking about just getting it dyed just one color, I just don’t know which one. I’ve already done pink and purple (but never took pictures so I have no proof – maybe I should go with one of those colors again?)
It’ll be a while before I can afford to dye it again and knowing the way my mind works, I’ll probably have two or three other ideas of what to do to my hair by then. Maybe I’ll post a poll here when I’m ready.
You know that day in sex ed class when they send all the boys to one room and all the girls to another one? Well, we don’t learn about menstruation like you think we do – we already know all about that from Summer’s Eve commercials. Nope. We learn how to kick guys in the balls and steal their wallet – not necessarily at the same time. Oh, and we learn mind control – the kind that can get past tin foil hats.
Explains a lot, doesn’t it?
I’ll probably get kicked out of the club now, but it doesn’t matter. The truth needed to be told.
If I was one of those people with a job, I’d request gay pride weekend off as a religious holiday. This year, I was determined to celebrate gay pride weekend (June 13th and 14th) in Portland Oregon by going both to the festival and parade – even if I had to go alone.
The Saturday before, I spent several hours at Bishop’s Barbershop on Hawthorne getting my hair dyed in rainbow streaks as my tribute to gay pride.
The original plan had been to have all my hair dyed in stripes but my stylist suggested just streaks on my natural hair color because it would be cheaper (and hubby pointed out that the first option would look like a clown wig). I love the way it turned out but I’m disappointed at the lack of reactions from people. Is rainbow streaks in my hair just too ordinary for Portland? However, I shouldn’t have been surprised that my rainbow tribute was overshadowed by pretty much everyone else at gay pride. I saw everything from rainbow shirts to dresses made from fake fur in every color of the rainbow. My favorite was rainbow eyeshadow I saw on two different girls – makes me wanna start wearing makeup again. Next year, I’ll have to try harder. Maybe I’ll just paint my entire body with rainbow liquid latex – that would make a statement.
My dear friend and fav gay, MJ, couldn’t come out to play on Saturday, so I sent out a plea on Twitter for someone to hang out with at the Gay Pride Fest being held at Waterfront. A lovely girl, S, whom I’d met during MJ and I’s last trip to Embers, said she was going with her girlfriend and some friends and would meet me there. So, I jumped on the max and headed down to the fest. I spent the rest of the day hanging with a lovely group of girls and I discovered that I enjoy hanging with lesbians just as much as I enjoying hanging with gay men. Actually, I just like hanging with people. Unlike my normal response of over analyzing and over thinking everything I say, I just felt comfortable and had a great time.
On Sunday, MJ and I headed to the Gay Pride Parade and then back to the fest where we met up with another Portland local I’d met on Twitter, R.
My weekend was very long and exhausting and ended with me being sore and sunburned, but it was freaking fabulous. I want a repeat next year.
Now, I’d like to share with you some tidbits I learned during my very gay weekend:
What I Learned During PDX Gay Pride 2009
1) The sign for rimming: While I was waiting for S and the gang to arrive at the fest, I wandered around and did some people watching. Eventually, I sat on a bench at the main stage to wait and got to watch two drag queen M.C.’s and some band called Sophie Lux. While the band was getting ready, the M.C.’s were killing time by telling dirty jokes such as: What did one gay frog say to the other gay frog? Rimit rimit. There was a sign language interpreter there who didn’t get the joke. I happened to turn in his direction while the M.C. was explaining it and I learned the sign for rimming.
2) Embrace your labels: One of the booths at the fest had stickers with various words on them: single, queer, daddy, sissy, dipstick, ect. Blank ones that could be customized were also available. One of the girls, H, decided to buy some for all of us. She got Single and Queer, S got Disco Stick for her girlfriend E to wear on her crotch (you know, from that Lady Gaga song), and I got Fag Hag – which I then put on my hat.
3) Putting things on your crotch is funny: Do I really need to elaborate? Look at the pics…
4)I need a better camera or to learn to be a better photographer: I have a pretty descent digital camera but it’s battery decided to die a couple days before pride weekend. We went to several places on Friday but couldn’t find the battery we needed – we’re going to have to buy one from Amazon.com. So, I dug out our old retired camera that used AA batteries. Turns out, we retired it for a reason. It takes horrible outside night pictures. There’s a delay between pictures. It’s batteries decided to die anytime I had something I really, really wanted to take a picture of and by the time the batteries were changed, the photo op was gone. At the parade, it only seemed to want to take pictures as the float was passing so I got a lot of back shots. Of the 300 plus photos I took, like 3 are good. However, I still posted 80 not so good photos on flickr.
5) Even if you’re straight, woman still like boobs: At the fest on Saturday, there was a lot of topless woman and H kept pointing them out. Every time she said “oh look, naked boobs” I’d turn and look. E later informed that even though I was straight, part of me still likes boobs. That all woman like boobs.
6)I’m still prone to peer pressure (oh, wait I knew that one already):On Saturday, me and the girls were sitting on the grass outside of the fest waiting for the music to start (Uh Huh Her was playing and this is apparently a big deal because one of the members is a chick from the L Word). At one point, one of the girls handed me a bottle in a paper bag and said “Drink it. There’s not much left, just finish it off.” I giggled a bit and asked what it was, no one told me. The whole group encouraged me to drink it, so I did. I got a mouthful of really bad, really cheap vodka. I’m pretty sure the face I made was amusing. I was then handed a bottle of Dr. Pepper as a chaser. At the chant of “chaser, chaser, chaser.” I drank it. I was then told that it had Vodka in it too. At least I avoided drinking out of the gold bottle of real Russian vodka strangers gave them later.
7) A new definition for awesome: Drag Queen on a Segway. This is one of the only good pictures I got during the parade. It was also my favorite part of the parade. I’m going blow it up and frame it. I also think Drag Queens on Segways would be an awesome band name.
8) It is indeed a small world: MJ and I met up with R (my tweeter friend whom I hadn’t met before) and his boyfriend B at the fest on Sunday. Turns out, MJ already knew B, they use to work together. And B knew E and H whom I’d met the day before. Even in a big city like Portland, it’s still a small world.
9) Even in a very open minded city like Portland, there are still douche bags who like to spread the hate: MJ and I were sitting on the sidewalk near Pioneer Square waiting for the gay pride parade to start when protesters showed up. Two guys who felt the need to use a bullhorn and a hateful sign listing everyone who’s going to hell (I didn’t get a picture of it, but I found one on another site of the same sign – notice the grammar mistakes and the fact that according to the list, everyone’s going to hell) showed up and decided to make camp right behind where we were sitting. So, we moved. It was either that or I was going to end up poking the guy with the bullhorn with my rainbow stick, repeatedly. And as MJ pointed out, ending gay pride weekend with a call to my hubby to bail me out of jail wasn’t a good idea. So, we stood on the other side of the street and watched the douche bags try to ruin the day for everyone else. It didn’t work. They just made a bunch of people angry and got topless women, kissing lesbians and dieing nuns in return for their hate speech.
Next year, I’m going to take hubby’s suggestion and bring my own bull horn. If they show up again, I’m going to repeat everything they say but skewered. Like, when they talked about homosexuals being in the closet because they were ashamed, I’d say that he was coming out of the closet.
PDX Gay Pride 2009 was a wonderful experience for me. I was sad to see it end. I wanted to spend more time around these people who were so friendly and wonderful. I wanted to soak up more of the gay. I can’t wait till next year. Just got to get some liquid latex paint and a bull horn…
So, hubby and I went to Safeway last night to pick up little fruit pies, ice cream and Liquid Plumr – to be enjoyed separately, not together. The guy in front of us in line was gay (or at least I assumed he was because I assume/hope/imagine 90% of all men are gay) and buying cake. In the car on the way home, hubby and I had this actual conversation:
Me: The guy in front of us was gay. Hubby: Yeah. Me: And he was buying pie for his lover. He’s probably going to eat it off his ass. Hubby: Ewww! Why would he do that? That’s where shit comes from. Me: I don’t mean in his ass, just the surface. Hubby: Still gross. Me: Would it be better if he ate it off his stomach? Is that cleaner for you? Hubby: Yes. As long as he shaves it, you don’t want hair in your pie. Me: I’m still going with ass pie. Hubby: Where did you get that? Me: From my mind.
Update: Oh. My. God. This post is getting the best spam comments, ever! I love how spammers are trying to make their comments generic enough yet specific enough to fool people into thinking they’re real – that is until you see the name (like “Cheap Nanny Camera”) or link posted for the comment. So, a lot of spam comments seem to be in the “thanks for sharing this info” genre or similar, which is just hilarious for this post.
Some of the gems I’ve gotten so far:
“I had no idea. Amazing what you can learn by cruising the internet, reading about things that interest you. Thanks for posting about this.”
“Isn’t it amazing what turn of events can take place? Appreciate you letting your readers know about this.”
“This is a most unfortunate situation. I did not know about it, and I am grateful to you for bringing it to our attention.”
Spammers crack me up. I’ll just keep doing my part to spread the word about Ass Pie and you guys just keep doing your part to keep spam alive.
I’m left handed which makes wearing jewelry on that hand uncomfortable. So, I wear my wedding band on my right hand. My wedding band isn’t the standard silver or gold band, it’s Black Hills Gold, which has leaves and grapes on it and matches my hubby’s exactly except for size. I wore my engagement ring on the same finger, which wasn’t traditional either – it was a cluster of Sapphires, not a diamond.
I take my ring off when I’m about to get my hands dirty because I don’t want to get any gunk on it and it always gets put right back on after my hands are clean. I took it off today to clean my hands after eating some chicken wings. Hubby was staring at me while I did this and I asked why. He said he was just making sure I put it back on so people knew I was taken. I then pointed out that they wouldn’t know that because it’s on the wrong hand. So, I proposed a solution: I’ll get a tattoo on my left ring finger that says “see other hand”.
So, my best friend/fav gay, MJ, came to visit today. At one point while we were all sitting in the living room watching TV, MJ sat in one of our kitchen chairs right in front of the recliner where I was siting. I made a comment about him siting there so he could silently judge me. Then hubby suggested he carry a notebook around wherever he goes which made MJ run to his bag and grab his notebook. He then proceed to take notes on me while we watching Saturday Night Live – the Best of Amy Poehler. When he was done, he handed me his notes. It seems that MJ thinks I huff oven cleaner and have a crush on Amy Poehler. After I stopped laughing so hard that my cheeks still hurt, I convienced him to let me video tape him reading his thoughts – in a British accent. So, here is MJ (aka Hambone Mcgillicutty) reading his Observations on the Sarah. Enjoy.
I’ve entered three contests in my life (that I remember). A play writing contest in high school – two people entered (including me) and I won second place. A bacon cooking (MasterBacon) contest this year – 30 plus people entered, I won runner up. And a Ugly Necklace contest last month – 12 people entered, I’m one of 6 semi-finalists. Any guesses on what prize I’ll win?
Oh, and I have a new blog: Adalea’s Designs. I’ll be showcasing/previewing my lovely beaded art there.
I believe…
…that everything happens for a reason even if that reason isn’t clear right away
…that I’m a little psychic
…that some day I’ll win the lottery
…in coffee
…in faeries (both the real ones and the ones in fairy tales)
…in love
…in soul mates (I married mine)
…in gay marriage (you all saw that one coming, right?)
…that street performers and wearing costumes on any day but Halloween makes the world a better place
…that art can be anything and anything can be art
…that art doesn’t have to have a deep, profound meaning, it can just be pretty
…that reality TV makes us better people (think of it as a “what not to do” lesson)
…that love comes in many forms and all of them should be celebrated
…that bacon makes everything better
…that humor is a vital part of life
…in creativity
…that the odd and obscure should be celebrated and treasured
…that I need minions
…that shaving your head, getting tattooed and/or getting pierced doesn’t necessary = bad/rebel
…that drinking juice from a wine glass makes me feel fancy
…that some day I’ll figure out what I wanna be when I grow up
Originally posted on July 13th, 2008. I can’t remember who I posted it under but it fits with Adalea and Fag Hag so that’s where it’s going.
In the car with hubby on the way home from Starbucks:
Me: I think I’m just going to have something light to eat – just a cliff bar. Hubby: You’re going to have a clit bar? Me: Mmmm tasty. Even though I’m not in college, I can still have lesbian experiences. Hubby: I don’t think so. Me: It doesn’t count. One, it’s experimenting. And two, it’s with a woman. So, it’s not cheating. Hubby: In what world? Me: Jerry Springer world. But it means you can have sex with a man. Hubby: Gee thanks (said very, very sarcastically). Me: I’ll take pictures. Hubby: No you won’t. Me: Of my lesbian experience, yes I will. Hubby: Will you send me a postcard? Me: Yeah. It’ll say “wish you were here”.
